Sincerely, Brianna Leigh

Landon Erwin Cramer [birth story]

I cannot believe that our sweet, precious boy has been here for three weeks now! Thank you to everyone for the congratulations, well wishes, advice, baby gifts, and visits. It all means so much to our family and we couldn't be more blessed!

Landon was measuring large at our 36 week ultrasound, and with me having a history of PVC's and other concerns, I talked with my OB and we agreed that a C-section was best for Landon's delivery. So it was settled, we were scheduled for a C-section on April 3, 2017 at 7:30 AM.

My mom, dad, sister, and I stayed at my sister's apartment only 3 minutes from the hospital the night before - I am SO not a morning person, and I wanted to limit any possibility of something going wrong to make us late that next morning. Sleep was difficult to come by knowing that I'd be finally meeting my son the next day! But, it finally did come and the next thing I knew, we were up and heading to the hospital. 5:00 AM rolled around and I got settled in pre-op to have my IV hooked up and be prepped for surgery. Seeing as this was my first surgery ever, to say I was nervous would be an understatement! My stomach was in knots and I was so anxious as to how it all would go. 6:00 AM rolled around and my husband finally showed up with his parents. He had gotten a late start and I was picking on him the entire time that I just KNEW he'd be late - ha! It was good to have him by my side, though, and I was so thankful he made it safely.
Finally, it was time to walk to the OR. Again, I've never had surgery before so I've never been inside of an OR much less walked into one. It was so surreal! Then came the part I was dreading - the spinal. I knew it was necessary and everything, but me and needles just don't get along and knowing I'd have one placed into my spine worsened my anxiety. Finally, though, the spinal was done and I soon lost all feeling to the lower half of my body - the weirdest sensation I've ever experienced in my entire life! They quickly (and I mean quickly! that stuff works FAST) laid me down on the bed and rolled me onto my back. Then the prep work started and I got super nauseous. The anesthesiologist was my BFF and continuously administered nausea medication throughout the entire ordeal - the nausea just constantly came and went and I wasn't having it! Before I knew it, my OB walked into the OR and she was ready to go!

And I freaked. Because my husband still wasn't in the OR yet!

My OB started cutting before Cory was in the room and I was a basket case. But then the door opened and he walked in, and I was instantly at ease. He sat next to me and I just looked at him the entire time with tears in my eyes telling him over and over that I loved him. Then I felt it - the tugging. She tugged and pulled and tugged some more to get our sweet boy out - and then she learned why it was so difficult. Our boy had a big head! I later learned that she had to cut my incision longer AND use a vacuum to help get him out! No wonder I felt so much movement! Cory said it was cool to watch her pulling so hard to get him out. I'm just glad she finally got him out! :)

As she pulled him out, she told Cory to get the camera ready, and then I saw him - Landon entered the world at 8:11 AM weighing 9lbs 8oz. Our son. Our sweet boy was finally here!
They cleaned him up and I just stared at the bassinet across the room, again with tears in my eyes (obviously). Cory took pictures and walked back and forth between the bassinet and my side, and before I knew it, they were closing me up and we were on our way to recovery. Surgery was over, and we were parents!
I asked the nurse how long I'd be in recovery and she quickly informed me it would be two hours. Soon after that, I asked Cory if he had texted any of our family that were out in the waiting room that Landon had been born with zero complications and that I was okay. His response - "no". He said they wouldn't be worried and he wasn't concerned about letting them know. Umm, excuse me?! I don't think so. I asked him to please text one of them to let them know, and he finally did. I later found out that they were absolutely worried after not hearing anything for two hours after surgery started. Like, pacing the floor and asking nurses for information kind of worried. Oh sweet husband, how much you have yet to learn :).

While in recovery, I could have one visitor with me at a time. Once Cory had some one-on-one time with his son (he got to feed him first!), he went to the waiting room to let everyone else come to see me Landon. Before I knew it, two hours had passed and we were headed to our room where we'd spend the next four days recovering and bonding as a family of three.

me | march

And just like that, March is coming to a close. Like, today. Doesn't it seem like it was just Christmas and the new year? And now we're staring April in the face. Whoa.

March was pretty dang good to me! Although being SUPER pregnant has had its not so great moments, I've loved carrying Landon for another month and each symptom is absolutely, 100% worth it for him to be growing big and strong and healthy. Emphasis on the big. He's definitely hit several growth spurts this month and people are no longer commenting that "I don't even look pregnant" or that my bump is so small for how far along I am.

The highs:

  • An amazing baby shower! 
  • Finally having essentials we need for Landon's arrival.
  • Finalizing Landon's crib and decor! His bedding is the cutest and I've loved creating his space. 
  • Getting our birth plan in place with our doctor and seeing Landon on the ultrasound again!
  • The Lent Scripture Writing Plan I've been doing from Shannon. It's not only gotten me into the Word on a daily basis, it's realistic and something that's easily achievable every day. A great starting point for hopefully what turns into a habit! 

The lows: 
  • Not seeing Cory as much as I'd have liked due to our schedules. 
  • s.t.r.e.s.s. and hormones. and the scary symptoms that come with that for me. 
  • Money issues/frustrations. Always.


loving: My family! All of them. My husband, my parents, my sister, my brother. They are pouring love and support into me and it's so appreciated and needed right now.

contemplating: Different spreads and layouts for my bullet journal. I love being able to change things up when/how I want! And if I don't like it or it doesn't really work for me, I can just change it up again or go back to what I liked before. So much freedom. 

smelling: Lemons. I'm loving me some lemons lately. 

reading: Several books lately. I'm either into the Christian living books (see: Looking for Lovely by Annie Downs and Choosing Real by Bekah Pogue) or the lighthearted chick flick novels (see: What We Find by Robyn Carr). No in between for these hormones right now. I need to know that God loves me right where I am no matter how much of a hot mess I am in the moment and then I need to get out of my reality and laugh and enjoy a light, funny book. So that's been on my currently reading list. I've updated my Goodreads account recently, too, so you can check that out here

deciding: Nothing! And it's nice. All decisions for Landon have been made and it's just a matter of time, now. Bags are packed, outfits are picked out, times are scheduled, and our birth plan is in place. I'm going to enjoy a little time off from making anymore decisions until more pop up, haha! 

learning: To sleep when I can and be okay with it. I've been oh so tired as I'm nearing the end of this pregnancy, and usually I wouldn't nap in order to be productive and get other things done. But I'm learning to be okay with needing the extra rest right now, especially because it'll be a thing of the past once Landon arrives! 

watching: All the Grey's Anatomy reruns (no surprise there!). Thank goodness they air on Lifetime and I'm able to DVR them. However, I'm pretty caught up so I'm going to be turning to Netflix for binge-watching once I have Landon and am on maternity leave at home all day (any and all recommendations and suggestions are welcome!). 

writing: In my bullet journal on the daily. Tasks, Scripture, notes, diary entries - all the things and I'm loving it. Writing is CLEARLY an outlet for me and eases my anxiety. 

hating: Laundry. Even just my own is out of control, so once Landon is here, it's only going to get worse, I know. Let's just say I'm not looking forward to it! I've always hated laundry. 

listening: To Spirit 105.9 all.the.time. It's helping to keep me in the right frame of mind during all of these changes and preparations for our sweet nugget's arrival. 

craving: Stability, but I know that, realistically, it won't be happening anytime soon with a newborn on the horizon. So, I'm staying calm about it and know that it'll come in time, God willing. 

planning: My maternity leave. I have no clue what life with a newborn is going to look like exactly (you don't know until you're elbows deep in it, so they say), so I'm trying not to plan "too much" and just go with what my son needs from me in his first days/weeks/months of life. 

needing: A vacation. :) 

dreading: The pure exhaustion and overwhelm that is inevitably in my very near future. 

wanting: To hold my son! I know I'm basically like a broken record at this point with saying how badly I just want to hold him, but it's still true and still what I want.

reminiscing: About this pregnancy as a whole. I've been thinking back a lot lately about each milestone and step of this journey - from the day I found out up to today. So much has happened, and I thank my lucky stars for everything turning out the way it has and to be at this point right now. Blessed is the only way to describe it.

eating: All the things. Still. I'm kind of looking forward to not constantly needing to search for a snack! 

drinking: Too much soda recently. :( But I'm getting back on my water habit, which is nice and is helping me feel better. 

swooning over: All the baby clothes. I mean, how can I not?! 

feeling: Equally nervous and excited. I'm going to be a first-time mom VERY soon, and I'm over the moon excited to meet Landon and become a mommy, but I'm equally as nervous about becoming overwhelmed and failing at this mom thing. It's something I've always wanted and dreamed of, but now that it's nearing, all of my fears are bubbling at the surface. 

working on: Taking it easy. Being 9 months pregnant takes a toll on a woman and I'm learning to be okay with asking for help. 

hoping: For a smooth delivery for Landon and that he is healthy. 

looking forward to: The birth of our son! 

Lord, I thank you for getting me and Landon to this point in my pregnancy with things looking good for delivery. I pray for a healthy baby, smooth delivery, and to make it through with minimal to no complications. I'm excited to be entering into my son's birth month! Thank You for watching over me and guiding my way, as this month has been especially hard with my hormones raging. I pray for peace and calm and security as we enter into parenthood. I pray that I will continue to let go of the control I so often seek and allow You to guide my steps in raising our son so that he will know You and have a relationship with You. God, please watch over all of our family and friends that are traveling for Landon's impending arrival, and help them understand that Cory and I will be new parents and will need lots of love and grace. In Your name I pray. Amen.

Landon - 38 Weeks

Baby Size
No new measurements, but he was measuring 8lbs 2oz two weeks ago. I'm sure he's grown a bit since then (hello belly!) and my doctor said she's expecting about a 9 1/2-er at least. Holy smokes!

Sweets! I would've given anything for a piece of moist chocolate cake this weekend. So weird, because I'm typically not a "cake" person. And I've been doing some major work on ice cream sandwiches this week - don't even get me started!

Still just anything greasy. I went a bit overboard while out to eat with family Saturday night and paid for it dearly. My stomach just can't handle it. And I should've known better...

Heartburn and hormones. Story of this pregnancy! My pelvic pain was severe on Friday, but thankfully it's eased up since then. Other than that, just feeling large and dealing with the indigestion and insomnia.

Landon is definitely a little mover! He kicks and jabs and stretches all throughout the day. It's getting uncomfortable when he goes crazy and won't stop, like while I'm trying to drive or something, but it just means that he's doing what he's supposed to and I wouldn't have it any other way.

What I Miss Most 
Being able to sit comfortably. I just can't with this large belly, and it makes commuting to work (I have a 2 hour commute one-way) fairly difficult!

What's Happening This Week 
Final preparations for our little nugget!

What I'm Looking Forward To
Holding our sweet boy in my arms and finally seeing what he looks like. I'm going to soak in every single feature on his tiny body and love every part of him! I'm also really looking forward to Cory holding his son and seeing the look of pure love and joy on his face. Like, I'm tearing up (thanks, hormones) just thinking about it!
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