If you've prayed for me, THANK YOU! If you've checked on me to see how I've been, THANK YOU. If you've put a smile on my face during a time I thought I'd never be happy again, THANK YOU! If you've texted, called, emailed, snapchatted, facebooked, tweeted, instagramed, stopped by, anything to support and encourage me, I truly THANK YOU! If you've followed me in this transition to a new space and blog, THANK YOU!
Sharing my story is a part of the healing process for me. I'm learning, slowly, that it's okay to not be okay. I'm not promising to have all of the answers. I don't know which way is up some days. I'm sharing this for ME. I know that through my story, I will find support from more and more people. I know that blogging is my passion, and writing helps me. I knew that writing this story was inevitable for me. I'm sharing my story and immortalizing it so that I never forget. I don't want to forget what I went through and am currently going through. Why? Because I will be stronger because of it, and my story will drive me to become better: a better daughter, cousin, sister, niece, friend, wife, and child of God. I don't want to forget because it is going to be a huge part of who I am to come. I pray that it empowers me, not keeps me down.
This isn't even close to being over. I have a long road ahead of me and it's going to be hard. I'm going to continue being tested. I'm going to be emotional and all over the place for probably a long while. There's no time frame on this kind of thing. There's so much that I just don't know, which is hard for me since I find comfort in having set plans and goals. Right now, I'm taking things one day at a time, which is really all I can do.
We're not hiding what's happening, but we weren't shouting it from the rooftops, either. We had to get a grasp on everything, mostly on ourselves. I'm still a work in progress and probably will be for years to come. Okay, who am I kidding? This will affect me for the rest of my life, and I'll always be a work in progress. But I'm okay with that.
A new blog was a must. New social media accounts, necessary. Just about everything in my life right now is in a state of 'new', and deep down, as much as I was dreading it, I knew I would need to make the adjustment to a new blog and new accounts. If you've followed me through the transitions, thank you so much! It's been difficult, but I'm so glad that I took the plunge. I'm loving this new space already, and it's even a dot com! Special thanks to Karla, who is not only a fellow blogger, but a friend. She encouraged me to begin fresh, and that Easter was the perfect time to do that. So, Karla, I truly thank you for everything! You've had to put up with a lot of venting and crazy emotions, but you've been steadfast in your friendship and I will never, ever forget it. Another special thanks with this new space goes to my dad. He helped me go through the 'technical' aspects of this new space, especially getting it to be a custom domain! No more '.blogspot.com' for this girl! I couldn't be happier with how it turned out.
This topic will be talked about on this blog, and I hope that you'll all understand. It's inevitable. This blog is a new space, but it's no different than my previous one. I'm going to be honest on this blog, and it's not always going to be about sunshine and rainbows. Life is hard, especially right now, and I want this blog to be a testament to that, to my life.
I don't know what will happen or when it will happen, but I'm so happy to have this space to share my story. I'm not going to bad mouth my husband, so if that's what you're looking for, you'll be highly disappointed. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. This is for ME. And this is my story. It's nowhere close to being over.
A few more special thanks:
To my dad. Dad, thank you. Not only for the computer-y aspects of it all, but for being there for me. I know that our relationship has been truly strengthened because of all of this, and it's definitely one of the silver linings of the situation. I love you, forever. Thank you for loving me. I know that I have your strength, and it comforts me. You're the strongest person I know and I'm so proud to be your daughter.
To my mom. Mom, you are always so supportive and loving, no matter what mood I'm in at the time. You've heard it all, and you never fail to show up for me. Thank you. I know I am just like you in so many ways, but those are great qualities that I'm so proud of. Thank you for lifting me up and for encouraging me to keep going. I love you, and thank you for loving me no matter what, unconditionally.
To my brother. Josh, you've taken me in and our relationship is stronger than ever. I'm so proud of the man you've become, and I look forward to seeing what your future holds for you. Thank you for never judging me and for always showing up when I needed you. You're such a strong person, and I know that God has great things in store for you. You have always and will always hold a special place in my heart. Thank you so much for being the best little brother! I love you!
To my sister. Hilary, I know we have our moments we need our space, but you're truly my best friend. I love how close we are and that we can tell each other anything and everything. Thank you for always being there for me and taking me in when I was lost and confused. You've accomplished so much in your life already and I know there's so much more joy and happiness out there for you. I look up to you and pray that one day, I can be even half of the independent, strong-willed person that you are. I love you and hope you know that I'm always here for you, no matter what.
To extended family. Y'all rock! Seriously, I could never ask for better cousins, aunts, and uncles. I cherish how close we all are and look forward to many more holidays together! I thank y'all, each and every one of you, for being there for me during this difficult time. I'm so proud to be in this family and to know what love really does look like!
To my Facebook favorites. You know who you are! I always know I'm writing for you, because I know you all read my blog faithfully. For that, thank you. And for your words of wisdom, encouragement, and support, I'm forever grateful. I honestly can't thank you each enough!
To my friends. When I'm struggling, I know that I can reach out to my true friends and know that they are right there waiting to help in any way, shape, or form. From shopping, to floating the river, to hanging out watching movies, to just snapchatting throughout the day...I appreciate it all! I've definitely counted on all of your support and love through this and the times to come! I love y'all and truly cherish our friendship.
And there you have it...my story. And it's only the beginning.