Fear is gripping and all-encompassing. If you let it be. Fear is also something that's played a huge role in my life as of late, and what a perfect opportunity to talk about it than joining in with other ladies to be real about fear. Getting divorced, I was full of fear. It filled my every thought, my every word, my every action. I was afraid of how people would see me, that they would look down on me for having a failed marriage. I was afraid of how I would see myself. I was afraid of how I'd even attempt to move forward...what does that even look like?! I was fearful of starting over.
Now, in the after (can I even call it the after yet? It's not official yet [legally], but it is in my mind. Heck, I don't know), I fear for my future. I know that I want to settle down and get married again one day. Whoa, that's a little hard to swallow right now! But regardless, I fear of how my past will be viewed by future suitors. Will I find someone that will still want to be with me knowing I've been married before? Can someone love me even after I've been so broken? Will I still have a family of my own that I've dreamed of for so long? How am I even supposed to date?! Will I bring the hurt and pain into future relationships? Will I be my own worst enemy and set myself up for failure? Will I even be able to trust again?
Even with these fears floating around in my head, I know that I will have my happily ever after one day. I know that I'm happy and stronger than I ever thought I could be, and most importantly, I'M OKAY. I know that happiness is what's in store for me and that I'll fulfill God's will of what is to become of my life. It doesn't get rid of my fears completely, but it helps a little every day.
Quite surprising to myself, I've been fairly open with my fears to those around me: coworkers, close friends, family. Although I've still got a long way to go, I am encouraged. The people I choose to surround myself with constantly help me to face my fears head on and to not run away from them. Hiding from them only allows the fear to grow. I want to stomp it out completely, and I'm getting help doing just that.
In getting so much support and encouragement in this difficult phase of life, I also find myself reaching out to others in their fears to help them. Although I
may not don't have all of the answers, sometimes a little encouragement can go a long way. I know this from experience. Even though I don't take every single person's piece of advice, so many people are truly trying to help me and offer their assistance in any way possible. Sometimes, it's as simple as being a shoulder to cry on or a sounding board for someone to say what scares them out loud. Sometimes, that's key. I'm making more of an effort to let my friends and family know that I'm there for them, especially through their fears. We all have them, and we shouldn't have to suffer through them alone. I'm being intentional in facing fears - my own and helping those that I love!
Do you struggle with fear? What are some ways that you face your fears?
***After writing up this post, I came across this...
Today, I want to remind you that your past doesn't define you, your failures don't define you, your circumstances don't define you. As a child of the Most High God, you are royalty, and His Word is what defines you!