On Nurturing

I guess you could say that nurturing is in my DNA - it's seriously a huge part of who I am, as I always put myself last and make sure others around me are happy and taken care of. That their needs are met, even if that means I'd be upset in the end. To me, it's natural and a no-brainer. I always want my friends and family to be happy, and if I can do something to make that happen, you can guarantee that I'll go out of my way to see that it's done.

But reflecting upon that brought up some questions that left me wondering...
:: Do I take it too far?
:: Do I nurture myself?
:: What about me?

It's pretty safe to say that 2016 was HARD. I feel like I could talk about it forever because with so many ups and downs, it's kind of left me in a whirlwind. And I admitted that I lost myself when I moved to the East Coast. I hated who I was there and what it did to me. I wasn't "me", not really, and I was okay with that for a long time. However, going into a new year and being back in Texas has me filled with so much hope and joy. And some sadness because I miss my husband like crazy more and more every day (but that's not the point right now).

I've been thinking about all the ways I wish 2017 would be so much better than 2016, which led me to think about a new word for this year. I've done it the past few years (see: 2015 & 2016) and wanted to really reflect on what I hoped for in 2017 - and then it came to me: nurture.


nur·ture
[ˈnərCHər]

VERB


  1. care for and encourage the growth or development of:
synonyms: bring up · care for · take care of · look after · tend · rear

Being a nurturer by nature, you'd think this would be simple, almost a cop-out of sorts. But instead, it's going to push me and allow me to really focus on what's important this year.


In 2017, I'm going to focus on nurturing:

:: myself (whoa).
I want to nurture my feelings and emotions and overall well-being. I want to personally grow this year in so many ways, and the only way to do that is to care for myself and encourage myself to keep going - to keep growing. In that, I'm also nurturing things I enjoy that took a BIG back seat this past year, like reading, blogging, photography, journaling, etc. With that, I've already nurtured this blog some with a brand new look! A new year, a new look, right? I'm also going to be a mom this year, and this screams more "soothing" and caring, and grown up. Maybe? I could be wrong, but I'm loving this new space!

:: my husband.
Cory means the absolute world to me, and I honestly don't know where I'd be without him. We've already been through so much, and we're honestly closer than ever even though we're over a thousand miles apart right now! I want to nurture him and encourage him to grow in whatever ways he wishes to this year. His hopes, his dreams, his wants - I want to care for those with him.

:: our son.
I want and intend to nurture our son beyond belief (that still feels so surreal - our son)! In just a few short months, our sweet boy will be here, and I want to care for him in every way a mother should and does. I want to hold him and soothe him and continuously remind him that I am here for him in whatever capacity he needs of me. I will help him grow big and strong, as I know he'll help me grow, too. He'll make me a mother, and that is a gift that I could never repay enough.

:: relationships with my family.
Through everything that's transpired over the last few years (see: divorce, moving), I know now more than ever (even though it was already super important to me) just how important family is. Not only to support me through my lows in life, but also to celebrate in the joyous occasions and to laugh with when I just need to escape reality for a while. I don't want to lose that, so I'm also going to focus on nurturing those relationships. Mom, Dad, Hilary, Josh - you've been warned :).

:: my faith.
I mentioned a little about the struggle I've been in with my faith here, and it's still really been weighing on me. I want so badly to get back into His good graces and be in a better relationship with God. I want to study His Word and be close with Him again, so this is another relationship I'm really going to focus on nurturing this year. My relationship with the Lord. It's something I want and need so very badly.


In reflecting, I've also realized that I've been nurtured a lot this year, and we're only 6 days into the new year! Cory has been so sweet and giving me attention all over the place as best he can from being so far away. We text, flirt, call, FaceTime - you name it! Thank God for technology or I'd be an absolute wreck being away from him. He's really been the best and I couldn't even begin to thank him enough. And have I mentioned that I MISS HIM LIKE CRAZY? Oh, I have? Ok. Just checking! I've also been oh so nurtured by my family. They have been seriously amazing through all the changes and transitions lately and I'm soaking it all in. It's what my heart and soul needs oh so badly and it feels so good to be in the presence of their comfort, love, and support. They're my people! And they nurture me well.

I'm praying that this year is fruitful and honestly, calm. But I also realize that's pretty much a joke seeing as we'll have a newborn! I'm excited for this journey and am looking forward to seeing what this year holds for our little (growing) family!

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