Moving is huge for me. I’ve always been a “born and raised Texan” and have been absolutely proud of that for forever. I was content in our huge state and enjoyed being so close with my family and friends. But then, I got divorced and started dating again. And then, Cory came into my life and the rest is history! Well, sort of. Okay, not really. It’s only just beginning, isn’t it?
Being with Cory has opened my eyes to so many things that I never would’ve even dreamed about before. I want things I never thought I could want. I dream new and bigger dreams. And I truly feel that the world is my oyster. Although, I’m not really sure I even like oysters? But he has brought so much confidence and strength and love into my life that I honestly can’t help BUT to be happy!
With that, though, comes the compromising part of a relationship. Yes, we are so very serious about each other and completely in love. Yes, we are both from different states. Yes, we have very different personalities. Yes, he’s a wanderer and I’m a homebody. Yes, we have completely different jobs and career paths. Yes, life is nothing like I thought it would be. Because we’re not the same (thank God for that, because that would just be weird…), we’ve had to discuss our future and what that looked like to each of us. And let me just tell you that it was a hard conversation for me to have. Because of that last fact about Cory – the wanderer part – he’s totally content with just picking up and moving somewhere new. That’s how he came to Texas from Pennsylvania. He moved here and started working and then met me. Now, he’s over the heat and the lack of jobs in his career and is ready for something new and different and fun. I can’t say I blame him.
So, after a long discussion over many months, job applications, stress, tears, etc, we made a decision together. The jobs and money that he wanted just weren’t here in Texas anymore (thank you oilfield), so I had to really accept that it was a very good possibility that we’d be moving. Like, out of state moving. And that hit me like a ton of bricks! This girl. This girl who loves her family fiercely and has always been absolutely content settling down near her hometown was now contemplating a huge move. A move away from everything she’s ever known to a place she’s never been. This girl was scared out of her ever-loving mind.
It took me several months of serious prayer and numerous conversations with Cory and my family to really be at peace with even the thought of moving. But it eventually came. But then it was a waiting game on the right employer calling about the right job for the right pay and the right hours and the right security and the right location. No pressure, right?
After months of different locations and different jobs coming and going off the table of possibilities, I honestly started to lose my mind. I’m a planner (I know, big shocker there…) and I like to know things, like where I’m going to LIVE and uproot my entire life to go and start a new chapter with a man I so dearly loved. But it wasn’t that easy. Sadly. More months passed and finally an opportunity came knocking that intrigued us and had us biting at the bit. We weren’t in the perfect place financially to make this big move “across the country” and emotionally, it was hard, but we discussed it, weighed the pros and cons, and decided that there would never be a “right” time. So after much more prayer, we agreed to dive in and move to South Carolina.
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Cory left a little over two weeks ago with the pups and has been working out the job situation so we can be settled. I’ve been missing him like CRAZY! He claims to miss me too, so that’s nice 🙂 haha. And me? Well, I moved back in with my parents for two and a half weeks and soaked up all the quality time I could! [side note: Isn’t God just amazing?! Just last year, I was questioning why He had me living back at home…why things weren’t falling into place like we were hoping and wanting them to. And now I know. I was (unknowingly) given more quality time with my parents and my brother and sister before I (unknowingly) would move out of state.]
So, today is my last day – my last full day living in Texas, my last day at my job of 4 years. [But I’ll be back to visit time and time again, you can guarantee it!] It’s my last day and you can absolutely guarantee that I am a huge bundle of nerves and emotion – all the emotions. Happy, sad, scared, excited, nauseous (that’s not really an emotion, but it’s been a constant this week), nervous, anxious, terrified…the list goes on. It’s a weird place to be emotionally and a co-worker summed it up nicely the other day, because I’ve been unable to really put it into words. She compared it to the feeling you get right before you jump off of a giant cliff (not that I would ever do that!! heck.no). You’re really excited for the thrill and the adventure and to see what it’s like and if you could really do it and what happens afterward, but you’re scared and nervous and terrified of actually jumping off of that giant cliff. What happens if you slip and fall? What happens if you don’t jump OUT far enough? What if the waves below crush you to death and you drown? What if, what if, what if. All the feels, I’m telling you!
But tomorrow, I will say goodbye to my family (very tearfully!!) and make my way out of Texas. And I’ll be driving towards my future. Whether we fail or succeed at this next chapter, I’m learning so much about myself and will be proud of us either way. It’s personal growth no matter what. And can I please just say how absolutely thankful I am for technology!! To be able to see and hear my family members that will be over 1,000 miles away will be seriously amazing and a blessing. It’s going to be hard, for sure. There are still unknowns, I will miss my family like crazy, and I’m scared of failure – especially failure so far away!
And I’m asking for prayers. Prayers for safe travels this weekend as we trek across six states in two days. Prayers for comfort as I imagine all of the worst case scenarios in my head a million times. Prayers for a smooth transition. Prayers that we meet amazing new people and new friends and church family that will support us emotionally (okay, mostly just me). And prayers for calm and strength for tomorrow’s goodbyes. I hate goodbyes. Times a million. And I honestly don’t know how I’m going to get through that part… I know it’s really more of a “see you later”, but oh how my heart aches and dreads it.
But here’s to new beginnings, new adventures, and my future…whatever that may be, because clearly God has bigger plans for my future than I ever would’ve imagined!
You can follow along on this new journey @xobriannaleigh or #briannasbigmove on Instagram and Twitter, or follow me on Snapchat (@brileigh12)!
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