My life is nothing like I imagined it would or could be. Never in a million years did I believe I’d be divorced one day or ever move back in to live with my parents once I was an adult. Those things weren’t on my radar – they weren’t a part of my plan. But You have a different plan for my life, and I’m slowly letting go of the me in this and focus more on the You. Slowly. But You give me abounding grace while I stubbornly try to hold on to the reins.
Through all of this new and change, I find myself in doubt and confusion and mostly in fear. What does this new life look like? How do I let go of old dreams and dream new, bigger dreams? Why isn’t any of this easy? Why don’t I get a break from chaos and turmoil? These are only a few questions that I ask You on the daily, Lord. But you know that.
Through it all, though, even in my darkest moments where I questioned You, Lord, You were there. You were always there making sure that I was supported and loved on every step of the way. It was (and is) in You that I find strength and comfort and peace. It’s with You that I feel safe. God, YOU are my safe place and You always provide a safe haven for me to land – in my family, my coworkers, my friends, in Cory. These are my safe places, and Your hand is in all of it! You’re always there and will always show up, no matter how rocky things get or how bleak my future looks on any given day. I am a sinner, but I am Your child and You forgive, time and time again.
God, I can’t thank You enough! You continually bless me with unending grace and love, for which I am eternally grateful. When I doubt myself, when I stray farthest from You, You’re still there, hands outstretched and ready to catch me when I fall. When I continually stumble from Your path, You wait for me, knowing that I am Your child and can only attempt to sustain myself for so long before I come crying back because I can’t – I can’t do anything without you, Lord! You are the vine and I am the branches. If I remain in You, and You in me, I will bear much fruit. Apart from You, I can do nothing.
God, I pray that I continually seek you and know You further. I pray for peace and understanding in my current phase of life and for guidance as I follow Your will by faith. I pray for the continued safe places, that I may find comfort in landing amongst my loved ones knowing they will support me when I fall and lift me up in You. And thank you, God, for being my ultimate safe place.
All my love,